Goals For September

Okay, another month is leaving us. I did not lose anything in August. It really sucks but it was a month of alot of changes. Jakob and I went back to school. I had classes, homework, taking care of family, and taking care of grandma which isn't getting any easier. I have things working against me like sleep deprivation but I need to work harder to make things happen. I have to take control of my health before it controls me in a negative way. I'm hurting my family by not taking care of myself. I've made 11 goals for next month. Here they are:

1. Drink 64 oz water daily
2. Journal food everyday using points
3. Only 1 pepsi one daily and only at grandma's
4. Get to 130 by Oct. 1
5. Exercise 15 min daily at least
6. More fruits and veggies
7. No eating past 8
9. No second helpings
10. Limit tea to 1 on Friday
11. Eat out only 1 day a week and keep it within my pts

I'm going to do this. I will accomplish my goals.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, CARRIE!!!!!!!!

Okay, I don't really have anything new to report. LOL!!!! I want to wish my best friend, my sister in spirit, Carrie a very happy anniversary!!!! Enjoy your day because you deserve it.

UGH....NUMBERS

Okay, I had to take a break from the math homework. All the numbers were blurring together and I was making stupid mistakes. I'm not feeling to well today. The scales did read 242 which is down two pounds but I'm still not totally happy. I have a better mindset this week especially since my MIL and I are starting our walks back up. I love visiting with her. SHe helps me keep what little sanity I have left...lol!!!! I love having another female to talk to.
School is going good. I'm pulling an A+ in math class so far. I'm pretty proud of it. I have gotten A's on everything so far. Computer class I'm sure will continue to be a breeze. Communications and English, well, they are what they are and I have to try harder in them. All of my teachers are pretty nice. There are a couple that are boring but none that are mean which is cool by me.
Home life is going well. Jakob is still ornery as he can be but he's a good kid so I can't argue. Jason is still Jason. There is nothing new on that front.
Grandma is not getting better but not worse. I'm using different tactics so I can get some sleep and they seem to be working. I love her alot. It is just hard to see her so confused. WHen she's confused, she's not the grandma that I grew up with. It makes me wonder if this is what is in the cards for me. I think Parkinson's is hereditary and I've had two grandparents with it. MY grandmother on my mom's side and my grandfather on my dad's side. I wasn't around grandpa much so I didn't see the effects except on the few occasions that I went to see him and he had no clue who I was. Grandma knows who I am but can get really gruff with me which isn't like her at all. I know it isn't going to get any better. I can handle it but it is hard.

A NEW WEEK

It is the start of a new week. I'm going to work really hard this week to keep on track. I know I can do it. I think I even figured out an answer to my sleeping problem at grandma's. I hope it will make a difference. I'm going to try to get myself off of the Pepsi One's because of the caffeine. It may be holding me back. I am going to strictly water with an occasional chocolate milk or something like that. I can do this. I got both of my school papers wrote so that takes some strain off. I have to study for my math quiz tomorrow. I want to keep my A's in that class.

GETTING IT ALL DONE

I got on the scales this morning and they read 241 which is down three pounds from yesterday. I don't know how but I'll take it. I'm going to work really hard this week.
I have two papers to write for class. They are both journal type papers and the instructors are looking for content not so much as grammar and all that which is good. I have actually wrote one of them but am second guessing myself when it comes to actually turning it in. I think I'll type it up and read it then. I may actually have a couple other people read it to see what their opinion of it is.
It's raining here today and my mood is a little south. I hate rainy weather some days. I'm not sure what my problem is but I hope it corrects itself soon.

THE STRESS IS HERE

Okay, school week one is over. I survived. I don't know how I survived the last two classes but I did. English and interpersonal communications is going to be my two headaches but I knew that was going to happen. I need to pull A's in both classes. Heck, English is worth points to be able to be admitted into the nursing program. I will work my hardest and hopefully, I'll get what I need. Hard work can pay off right.
Well, with school anyway. The diet thing isn't seeming to happen very well at all. I'm going to go for a walk here shortly to open my mind and refresh myself. Maybe if I give those as my reasons for walking then I'll be able to survive the walks. I weighed this morning and I was up one more pound. I've gained 12 pounds back this summer. I know there are several factors: not enough sleep, not sticking to my food plans, and not exercising enough. I can fix two out of the three wrongs. I have no excuses. Sleep is a little hard to handle. I'm going to try harder at grandma's to try to sleep at midnight whether she is asleep or not. SHe may let me sleep depending on her level of confusion. I have to fit in time to study but I seem to be doing that okay.

Better Not to Brag

OKay, I bragged to much yesterday. I should know better. I did horrible yesterday. I'm trying to right my wrongs today. I don't know what my problem was yesterday but it has to stop. I know lack of sleep is a major problem for me. It's unfortunately one I can't fix. I have to take care of my grandma and she is on her own schedule. SHe gets up when she wants and I have to help her. It's the downside of my job. I love her though and am willing to do it. HOw am I suppose to lose the weight with maybe three hours of sleep a night? I have been doing things right for the most part this week and the scales as of yesterday morning weren't reflecting it. I don't know what to do. I'm at a loss. I'm not giving up though. I'm going to try harder and push onward.

I'M GETTING BETTER

I'm getting better. I still have a ways to go but I'm getting there. School is actually a little easier so far than I anticipated. Of course, I've only had two of my four classes. I may rethink everything by Friday night...lol!!!! Today I felt how hard it is going to be to lose weight while going to school. I had a lot of math homework and decided it would be easier to eat out. I can't do that. I have to stick to some sort of resemblance with my schedule. I did get a walk in yesterday but haven't so far today. I will do it though.

BACK TO SCHOOL!!!

Well, I survived my first day back to school. It was a three hour class but it didn't seem like it. The teacher was really good. I felt really weird once being there. It's hard to explain the feeling of walking back into a classroom. My diet got kind of out of whack today. I ended up getting a hash brown from McDonald's instead of eating what I planned. I could tell after class that I hadn't ate as much and was a little stressed because I really wanted to eat out. I wanted to call my MIL to go out to lunch. I wanted chinese food. What did I do? I came home and had leftovers from last night which is what I planned. I am finding the schedules aren't exactly how my day will go but I'm getting stuff done. I did exercise for 10 minutes on my elliptical last night and did end up drinking 32 oz of water. My mil is supposed to call me to go walking so I'm excited about that. Last fall, we walked and I really enjoyed it. IT's always nicer to walk with someone and I love the female company.
I have a very dear friend who said the nicest things about me in her blog. Carrie, I love you to death!! You have been a lifesaver to me. I think God led us to be friends. You are a blessing and a great sister. Thank you so much for all of your support and friendship!! WIthout you, I probably would have quit by now. We can do this and we will meet!!!! I love you lots!!!!!

SO FAR SO GOOD

Okay, so my schedules aren't 100% foolproof but that is okay they are still working for me. I pretty much followed it to a T yesterday even though I had the slip up with the ice cream. Today has been more off whack due to not sleeping much last night. IT's okay though. I'm still within my points range and will pull it off. Life does get in the way sometimes but we have to work around it. I haven't exercised yet today but I think I'll get on my elliptical or take a small walk. I'm not eating much today so I don't really want to overdo it with the exercise. It's going to be a great day though. I'm hoping by Tuesday to see a loss. I'll also redo my measurements at the end of the week.

A NEW WEEK

Okay, it's the start of a new week. I'm going to make the best of this week. I can't keep doing what I've been doing because it obviously isn't working for me. I've made a detailed plan of my weekend and will continue to do it through the week. The times may not be exact but the purpose is to get the whole thing done. I've allotted for 60 minutes of exercise time. I've allotted it in 2 increments but will settle for one 60 minute walk if I have to. I will exercise for an hour a day. I need to think of it as me time. I go for a walk and can clear my head. It is a huge motivator once I get my lazy butt out there and do it. I am capable of doing this and need to work my butt off literally. I want into my size 18 jeans by November. I will make that my first major goal and to get out of the 230's for good. I thought I was out of the 240's for good and surprise their back. They are back for a very short visit and I'm kicking them to the curb. Okay, I'm off to go take a walk. Wish me luck!!! LOL!!!!!

Boo Hoo!

Okay, I'm crying today. The scales read 243. IT's a three pound gain. What am I doing wrong? I'm going to make some huge changes this week. I might as well with all the other changes going on. LOL!!! I'm going to sit down and write out a hour by hour schedule for this week. I'll put down when and what I'm going to eat and when I'm going to exercise. I will stick to it as well. I have to. My health is depending on this.

LUCKY DAY

I had a very lucky day yesterday. I had orientation for my school. I hadn't had much sleep the night before so I expected to barely make it through. I mean you expect to go hear the school staff talk about how the school works and all the mumbo jumbo that normally goes along with it. Well, I got there and that is exactly what it looked like. They started and announced we were playing a game. Cool! I didn't really want to play. Well, our table won a $25 dollar gas card. How cool is that? I never win anything. They had a very energetic speaker from monster.com come and talk to us about how to succeed in college. He kept your attention so that was nice as well. They also fed us lunch which I did well at. It wasn't a bad day at all. I'm very pleased. It helps me look forward to college. I have to remember it's not going to be easy but what is? I can do this plus lose the weight.

My Baby is in the 5th Grade!!!!!!

My son is off to the fifth grade this morning. It feels really weird to have a quiet house. It always takes a few days to get used to the quiet and being alone. I have orientation for my school this morning so that will help. I start classes next Monday which will help eleviate some of the quiet time. I'm really looking forward to going back now. I get bored with my time at home. I did exercise yesterday and drank my water so I feel good about that. I'm doing this.

Thinking Positive

I got inspired for my blog from my friend's blog. SHe was so positive in her entry yesterday. IT got me to thinking. Things are so much easier when you think positive. I know I spend so much time worrying about what will go wrong that sometimes life passes me by. It's a lot easier to concentrate on what is going right and thinking about the pleasant things. I am going to do this. No one said it would be easy but it's doable. I am going to try to live a more positive life. I'm getting ready to start school which is a huge positive change. IT will be hard. I don't doubt that for a minute. Losing weight is hard. Life is hard. We survive it though. From here on out, I'm going to be positive and live my life accordingly. I bet I'll be happier for it. Thank you, Carrie!!!! I love you!!! YOu are such an inspiration to me in more ways than one.

SACRIFICES

Dieting is about sacrificing. You have to sacrifice the food you love in the quantities that would satisfy you to lose the weight. While I do believe that you can eat what you want in moderation, it's best to eliminate the foods that are not good for you. Soda pop is the one thing that I have to almost completely eliminate. Ice cream is another for a while anyway. IT's becoming a habit of mine. I have to learn to sacrifice what is a temporary pleasure for something lifelong like a good health and a great looking body..lol!!! The sacrifice will not be made in vain. They are essential.

Staying Focused

I need to stay focused. Remember why I'm doing this. It's hard but it's what I need to do. I am managing to stay within my points but still not with the right foods. I have to remember that just because I have points left for ice cream or a candy bar doesn't mean that's what I should use the points for. I'm going to allow myself one treat a week. I'll stick with that because it is necessary. I want to lose the weight and with the way I'm going it's not going to happen. I also need to stay focused and exercise. Exercise is important. I need to keep myself going. School starts this week for my son and next week for myself. It isn't going to get easier. I have to fight the hard fight and win the war. I will get smaller.

Make the dang scales move!

Alright enough already. I need the scales to move. I lost one pound according to them today. I want a bigger loss. I'm getting very frustrating. I did better this week than I've done in a long time. I don't understand at all. I am going to hope for a bigger loss next week.

Feeling Real

Okay, I feel like a student now. I got my classes paid for and 2 of my 4 books. I'll get the other two today. I get to watch my neice and nephew tonite and am looking forward to it. I'm going to clean house this afternoon. Diet wise I'm doing wonderful. I went over my pts a little yesterday but I'm not going to beat myself over it. I want to lose the weight and will do it.

First Oops

I had my first oops last night!!!! I know what I should have done but didn't do it. I"m not fretting over it to much because today is a better day!!!! It's a new day. I ate out yesterday and should have asked for to go container so I could take part home or I should have left some on my plate. Oh well!! I went over by 6.5 pts. It could have been worse. I am getting my exercise part down. I've been walking with my sil and we've been doing good. I'm so excited to do things right. I may get my pts calculator today. I sure hope so because I hate having to come to the computer to figure everything out. I am doing this. I hope the scales say 236 by FRiday. It would be a 5 pound loss. I need that.

I'm Registered!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm registered for classes. It looks like nothing is going to go wrong. I'll still be happier when I'm sitting in class. The good news is that I only have one class per day; bad news is I go 5 days a week. Oh well!!! I know I can handle it. I'll be a busy woman but I will succeed and get what I want. I want to make my family proud.
Diet wise, it will be a test but one I can pass. I will use my walks as a time to refocus. I get to walk with my mil and sil so I have the opportunity to get it doubly good. LOL!!!! I just have to remember my points and figure out what I am going to eat a head of time. I have a great friend who is only a text message away or even a phone call for that matter. I am doing great now. I've followed plan for three days in a row and working on a fourth day. I am going to win the battle.

Going on Perfect Day 3

Well, yesterday was another great day!!!!!! I stayed on track. Okay, I had a little help with this. MY son called my friend when I was eating a very small piece of chocolate cake and while I was talking to her, he threw it away. IT's okay though. I need the support like that. My MIL ordered a ww point counter for me since it's working for me. I paid her the money but she ordered it. I'm so excited to be doing things right for a change. I even took an hour walk last night. IT felt good to get it done. I'm going to work as hard today. I really need to do better with my water though. I've also gone three days with no tea!!!! I'm journaling all my food. I can't wait to see what the scales will say on Friday. I weigh every day but only count Friday's. I hope I can keep this momentum going while I'm taking classes with the stress. I know it shouldn't be hard to fit a healthy lifestyle in. I found out this morning that I'm getting a small pell grant so my schooling is free for this year. I'm so excited.

Great Feeling

It's a great feeling to do things right. I weighed in at 238 this morning. YEah!!! I followed everything to a T yesterday. IT was awesome. I love the feeling of accomplishment that I got after following the plan. I can't believe how easy it seemed. I'm so happy. I am going to do it as well today. I am getting on fitday in the morning to figure my food for the day out so I know if I have room for snacking. I am actually going to be under in points today if I don't add anything. I may just keep it under. We'll see. I think it'll help keep me on track when school starts. I have to do good and stay focused on numerous tasks then. I'll be taking care of grandmas, doing homework, attending classes, taking care of my house, spending time with my family, and making sure the bills are paid on time which I do as well. It may get a little overwhelming. I know I can get through. IT'll be temporary so I have to remember it. Losing the weight will make me feel better and will let me handle things better. I will use my exercise time to refocus and give myself a breather. Walking is a great way to clear your mind. I can do this. I am sure I will gripe and complain but I will do it.

Changes

I have decided to try to follow the ww watchers points. I'm not going to go to meetings because for one I don't have the time and I don't see spending money for support when I have the support within my reach for free. Today is my first day and so far I'm doing really well!!!! I have to just stay focused which I'm doing. I weighed in at 241 again this week but considering at a few points this week what I ate and my monthly started then I don't feel so bad. I think following the ww points is going to help tremendously. I'm ready to do this. The next few weeks are going to be trying. I'm not freaking out so much over school because i figure it will all work out on it's own. I just have to remember while being buried in homework that I can't grab unnecessary snacks. LOL!!! I'm going to buy some healthy snacks to eat like apples and oranges. I find out my class schedule and all on Tuesday morning. I am excited about that.

Tests

Okay, it's been fourteen years since I've been in school. The compass test has three parts: reading, writing, and math. I tested out on writing. I'm supposed to retest in reading but I'm also going to retest on math. I missed some really stupid questions on the math portion so I'm going to redo it to see if I can do better. I found a site and brushed up on what I think I need to know. School is going to be a test in itself but isn't life. Weight loss has seemed to stall and it's driving me nuts. I'm trying hard but I guess not hard enough. I"m going to work hard. My period is due and I know that isn't helping. July was a little stressful but do I honestly think it's going to get easier with school, taking care of grandma, and my family. Come on!!! I need to get a clue. I need to bust my butt and work hard at everything. I need to give 100% to everything I do. I don't want life passing me by which it will do at the size I am. I'm going to win my battles and fight hard.