Going Down

Well, the scales now read 234. I'm down 6 pounds from last Friday. Hip Hip Hooray!!!!!!! I didn't try very hard either so that makes it even better. I will try real hard this week and see what they say next week. I've not been weighing myself every morning due to being at grandma's in the mornings. Maybe this is better for me than weighing every morning. I'm not obsessing over the scales. I can do this. I just have to get back on track with my exercising.

Awesome Day

Okay, today was pretty awesome. Jason took me on the back of his motorcycle for a couple real short rides. It is terrifying for me but at the same time exhilerating. I've got to get used to it. I was bored quite a bit today but for the most part managed to stay away from junk food which I was craving heavily. I'm due for my monthly here in the next week. I have the worst cravings this time of the month. Lets hope I can withstand the pressure. I do need to get my butt moving. THe excuses for not exercising are piling up into a huge ball of crap. I would feel a lot better if I would just get out and move myself more. We have found that bowling is a great family activity. I'm hoping that we can do it on Sundays. Jason got a new job so he won't be as miserable anymore. It's here in town so I don't have to worry about him driving in the snow. Things are really looking up for us. I'm really excited about all the things happening. It's alot at once but they are positive so that is great. My goals for the coming week are to get my butt moving. No more excuses. I'm going to go walk the trail in Logansport every morning after my aunt gets home. Jakob can walk with me. He'll get used to it. It'll be good for him.
I'm praying the scales will be just as nice to me in the morning. I would love to see 235. It would mark a 5 pound loss for me this week. We'll keep our fingers crossed.

Finally

I got back on the scales today. I'm finding it hard to weigh in with working for grandma. I'm hoping this works in my favor and not against me. The good news is that the scales read 237 which is down three pounds from Saturday. I guess I was doing better than I thought. I just hope the trend keeps going that way. I am the one who has to make it happen. I am the one who controls what I do so the next time someone wants to take me to a restaurant that isn't good, I have to be gutsy enough to suggest a different one and not follow the trend. I can do this.

Disappointment

I'm so disappointed in myself. I haven't been doing good since I came back from vacation. Oh, I wake up each morning with the best intentions but something always happens. I am letting everyone including myself down. I'm the leader of my group but can't get it together. How can I lead them and show them the way if I am not following what I preach? I know I can do this. I've lost some weight before so why can't I do it now. I'm going to accomplish my goals. I have to. I did go for a walk this morning to get the newspaper instead of driving. I bowled for 90 minutes yesterday plus did 10 minutes of toning exercises at home. I'm going to eat light for supper tonite because lunch was pizza hut. I am going to do this.

I'm Back

Okay the scales were not nice to me at all. I read in at 240. THis is totally unacceptable but totally my fault. I got into the "I"m on vacation" mode. You know where you give yourself permission to eat whatever you want because you are on vacation. Well, I'm NOT on vacation anymore so there is no more rationalizing or excuse making. I feel like I've let my friends and myself down. I'm getting back on track today and am going to work harder than I ever have. I'm going to eat 3 meals a day. I normally skip breakfast. I'm going to eat my fruits and veggies. I'm going to limit sweets. I'm going to exercise daily. I'm going to see the numbers on the scales go down. I'm going to go back to journaling as well. I can and will do this.

A Sign

Okay, I'm taking it as a sign when the scale reads 235 that vacation is going to be hard to get through. I went to Indiana Beach yesterday. Oh, the exercise portion is right on. All we did was walk from 11 am to 5 pm. WHen I should have been drinking water, I was drinking pop. I'm going to have to keep the pop limited. It is hard to go without it when you are away. I will do better. I'm going to take it easy for the next couple of days in preparation for Kings ISland. I think I'm also coming down with a cold and sore throat so that doesn't help. The last thing I need to do is be sick. I'm looking forward to our trip on Monday. We go Sunday night to stay with my MIL in Indy. SHe's going with us to Ohio. We'll leave from there Monday around noon. The only bad thing is that my hubby isn't going. I've not been away from him this long in a long time. I will be away from him from Sunday evening to Thursday evening. He may actually enjoy the alone time but I'm going to miss him terribly. We are going to be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary on July 4th. I still love him as much now as I did when we first got married. I also know he loves me just as much now if not more. Well, I'm off to start my day. TOday is going to be a little more relaxed. We've got bills to pay and my oil to get changed in my car. I plan on getting some housework done and just flat our relaxing. I may rent a movie or two.

Busy Week

I've been very busy. It's only going to get worse. To be honest, I'm enjoying every bit of it. Wednesday, Jakob and I went bowling and shopping. THursday, we are going to Indiana Beach with a friend of mine from work. The sad thing is that it is now 1:36 am and I have yet to sleep. I'm tired but couldn't fall asleep when I tried. My tooth is aching and it's not helping at all. I'm waiting for the pills to kick. IT's a rotten time to get a tooth ache. I've had far worse though. I didn't do to bad diet wise on Wednesday. It'll be hard to stay with it for the next few days but I will survive it all.

My Baby's BIrthday

Well, there is a lot of things at once. First and foremost, my baby turns 10 today. Yes, we are into the double digits. Where did the time go? Time goes by so fast when you are a parent. I don't want him to grow anymore...lol!!!! I want to keep him little. I know it won't work. He's about as tall as I am now.
The other thing is that last night was my last day at work. It feels really funny knowing that I don't have to go back to work there. I was there 4.5 years. I'll survive though..lol!!!
Thirdly, today is the 13th anniversary of my mom's death. I can't believe it's been that long. She would be so proud of my brother and me. I miss her dearly. SHe's always in my thoughts.
Last, the scale read 233 this which is down a pound from yesterday. I'm going to have a relatively good day today. Child gets to pick where we eat for lunch. We are also going bowling so that will be activity. I can also get a walk in at some point.

Last Day

Today is my last day at Wal-mart. IT's sad and exciting at the same time. I only have a four hour shift so it's not to bad. I'll get a chance to tell everyone goodbye. I cried yesterday a couple of times so tonite is probably going to be worse.
Diet wise everything is going pretty good. I went to Fort Wayne with a friend and we had fun. We went swimming first. Yeah, I should have pushed myself harder than I did but I'm not going to fret to much over it. I'm doing well finally so I'm not going to be to critical. I can see a big loss coming. I have to get myself in the right mindset for being home and going on vacation. It's going to be a hard time while I'm gone but I'm going to try to make some smart decisions. It can be done.

Beat the Urge

SW: 261 CW: 232 TL: 29

Okay, I beat the urge last night. I wanted pizza and ice cream. I even had the ice cream in the house. I picked up the phone at one point to call in the pizza but didn't. HUbby had made a comment and that decided it for me. I wish the scales would have reflected at least a one pound loss this morning but they didn't. THey stayed the same. I'm going to take a walk this morning and then my exercise will be done. I had half a peach for breakfast. I'm not a breakfast eater. LUnch is going to be meatloaf, mash potatoes, and peas or corn. Supper will be light. I think this week is going to be a really good week. THe weekend wasn't to bad. I'm going to really push myself with the exercise. Okay, I'm off for my walk.

Surprise

SW: 261 TW: 232 TL: 29

Okay, I'm in total shock right now. I ate out both meals yesterday and I stayed the same weigth wise. I didn't snack all day except for a small bowl of ice cream last night. I'm not complaining in the least. I'm pretty happy that I stayed the same. I expected an increase. I did do 20 minutes on the elliptical yesterday so I got exercise in. I wanted to go outside for a walk but it rained all day. It's going to be a better day today so I'll get a nice long walk in. I'm going to stay active all week. This time next week, I'll be packing for Kings Island. I'm going to push hard to get out of the 230's for good by then. I would love to see 225 but that may be to much to ask for. I'll do as good as I can and see what happens.

Good Day

SW: 261 TW: 232 TL: 29

Okay, yesterday was a good day. I got in a 60 minute walk and food wasn't all that bad. THe scale went down to 232 this morning. It's been a couple of weeks since I've seen that number. Heck, last Sunday the scales read 236 so a 4 pound loss technically but since last Sunday I was on TOM I don't count it as a true loss. LOL!!!! It's okay though because the scale is moving in the right direction. I'm hoping at the end of this week to be out of the 230's. I'm so excited. I'm off the weekend now and am going to really concentrate on doing good. I only have two more days of work left and 8 days left until we leave for Kings Island. I'm really looking forward to it. I was hoping to be a lot smaller but I'll take what I got. I'm only getting smaller from here on out.

I Hate Supper!!!!

SW: 261 TW: 233 TL: 28

Okay, the extra weight is gone but I have another complaint. It really sucks because I did really good all day and then supper came. I had a plan but it went quickly by the wayside. A friend from work took me out to lunch. We went to chinese. Oh, they were going to go to Subway but I convinced them to go chinese. What in the world did I think I was doing? Yes, I still had approximately 1000 calories left for supper but subway would have been much better. This happens to me a lot. I do good all day and then supper comes and my willpower has left. I have to fix this problem if I want to get past this plateau. I can do this. I just have to concentrate.

Emotions

Trying to keep a hold of your emotions is sometimes hard. Controlling your urge to eat while on the roller coaster ride of emotions is even harder. I am not going to go into exactly what happened to cause me to be emotional but it was something huge that I thought was taken care of. I now have to figure out where everything went wrong but there will be no way of fixing it. I have to live with it and it really bites. OUr legal system is a joke. They lie to you and tell you what you want to hear but turn around and do the opposite of what they say. The sad thing in my case is that it has to do with my child. The legal system let him down. I'm ticked. There's no other way of saying it. I wanted to grab a pop but I didn't. I went grocery shopping but only bought good food items. I bought pure healthy food. I'm proud of myself for that. I did exercise for 45 minutes today which is the 3rd day straight in a row of exercising. I'm doing good. I just wish the scale would reflect my hard work. I'm going to do good tomorrow in spite of my troubles and push onward. I let my child down with this issue I will NOT let him down by not losing the weight. I can and will accomplish my goals. I bought some weight loss books. While I quickly figured out the Sonoma Diet wasn't for me, I am checking out a couple of others. I just need a boost to get out of the 230's. I"m stuck and I don't like it one bit. I want the scales to move down. I hate them when the move up or get glued to one number. I'm changing my eating habits because I've realized that my food intake hasn't been up to par. I have to do this. There is no more excuses. They are out the window.

Getting Better

SW: 261 TW: 234 TL: 27 pounds

Periods really suck. THey can make for unusual fluctations in the scales. I didn't do to bad yesterday. I pretty much stuck to my plan except for supper which I still didn't do bad considering I ate out. A friend and me ate at Bob Evans and I had one chicken breast, one baked potato, a salad, and a piece and half of banana nut bread. Okay, I could have done without the bread, used a lower calorie dressing for my salad, and done without the sour cream for my potato. SOme old habits are hard to break. Normally, I would have gotten the fried chicken strips but I got the grilled chicken instead. I am getting tired of chicken. We're having chicken tonite for supper. I did get in 30 minutes of exercise yesterday. I got in a total of 20 minutes on my elliptical and ten on my bike. TOday I'm shooting for 60 minutes total. I'm off today so there is no excuses. Tomorrow a friend is coming and we are going to the Y. THursday another friend is coming and we are going. I normally get 60 minutes of exercise in when I'm with them. They know how to push me. It's fantastic. I really couldn't do this without my friends for support. They are inspirations to me and I love them all dearly. THe hardest part about leaving my job is the fact that I won't see them everyday. YEs, I'll talk to them everyday but it isn't the same. I still have to get a hold of the other teammate to get her in to exercise. Plus, it's weigh in week this week so we have to turn in our losses to them. GO figure! Weigh in for the challenge on the week I'm on my monthly. UGH!!!!! LOL!!!!! We'll do good. I know a couple have been kicking butt on exercise. The one we have to convince you can overdo it because she's been really pushing it. I understand being all gung ho but you can do to much. I don't want her to hurt herself because then she could backslide. We are all going to lose the weight.

New Attitude

SW: 261 TW: 234 TL: 27

I had a rough weekend but am going to have a good weekend. I did have a side step this morning. I intended on getting up and riding my bike but ended up not doing so because of my cramps. TOM's are horrific at that. My energy level is a lot lower than normal and I don't want to do anything. I'm going to push myself to do it though. I'm going to get on my elliptical today. I'll do the bike tomorrow morning. I'm going to lose the weight. I'm going to really concentrate on my exercise and eating right this week. I'm going to drink my water as well.

New Attitude

SW: 261 TW: 234 TL: 27

I had a rough weekend but am going to have a good weekend. I did have a side step this morning. I intended on getting up and riding my bike but ended up not doing so because of my cramps. TOM's are horrific at that. My energy level is a lot lower than normal and I don't want to do anything. I'm going to push myself to do it though. I'm going to get on my elliptical today. I'll do the bike tomorrow morning. I'm going to lose the weight. I'm going to really concentrate on my exercise and eating right this week. I'm going to drink my water as well.

Survived

SW: 261 TW: 236 TL: 25

Yes, the scales read high today. IT's not necessarily because of what I ate yesterday but the fact the my TOM started. It's the first time that it has taken me by surprise. THe good thing is that at least it explained why the scales read high. I did snack a little to much yesterday but could have done far worse. I actually did good with supper. I'm back on track today. I managed to send home some of the goodies with the boys so I wasn't left with them myself. I'm two weeks away from Kings Island and am looking forward to it. I am 8 working days away from last day of work and I can't wait to say goodbye to that place.

Recipe For Disaster

SW: 261 CW: 233 TL: 28 pounds

Well, it's gone again. LOL!!!! I feel like a yo yo. I'm on countdown at work. 9 working days left including today. I tell you. It's the slowest time you've ever had. I've got so much to do for my son's party tomorrow. The party is going to be a test of my willpower. The party will be a little stressful. There will be LOTS of junk food. We are having pizza for supper. It's actually the recipe for disaster. I will not weaken. I'll limit the pizza. I'll stay away from the snacks. The snacks are for the boys not me. I'll have a small piece of birthday cake and a small scoop of ice cream but that will be it. I can do this. I'll ask my husband for extra support. My teammate is coming as well. I'll help keep her in check with the cake as well. I am capable of passing this test. Ugh!!!! Deep breath now, I'm doing this.

Babbling

SW: 261 TW: 234 TL: 27

Why did the scales go up? I've done pretty good this week. I don't understand the scales at all. I am exercising, watching what I eat, and they are still moving in the wrong direction. I know my TOM is due next week so maybe that is the reason. I hope. IT's getting frustrating to not see the scales go down. I"m so tired of seeing the 230's that it's unreal. Today I'm going to really concentrate on watching what I eat. I've been slacking on my journaling my food so I'm going to get back to it. I'm going to exercise more. Talking about exercise, I record my exercise by how much time. I have a chart that I use to mark how much time I'm exercising. I started this in March. Here's how the last three months compare:

March: 540 minutes
April: 775 minutes
May: 875 minutes

IT's a new month and I'm going to get really strict as I can with vacation coming. I'm going to try to get in a total of 1000 minutes of exercise time. I'm going to work on getting out of the 230's for good. I'm going to work harder than ever and hopefully it'll pay off. I am going to lose the weight. My last day at work is June 13th so work won't be an issue. My taking care of my grandmother is on 3rd shift so there should be no problem there.
Talking about work, I really don't want to go back. I'm enjoying my time with my family. I had three days off and loved it. I only have 10 working days left but it is going to be hard to drag myself in there. For one, they are all cashier shifts so it'll be boring. They also screwed up the last schedule but it's okay because they are the ones sticking themselves with a shift to cover. They scheduled me to work on the 16th.
Well, i'm going to have a great day today even though I have to go back to work. I'm going to do things right and hopefully the scales will reward me tomorrow.